Save A Troubled Marriage

If you want to learn how to save a troubled marriage you have to realize that you cannot just click your fingers and your marriage is saved. It will take time and effort to build a foundation on which your marriage can grow. There will be those who try to go for a quick solution, now that can give you the illusion that everything is well, but it never lasts. No matter how bleak things look, most marriages can be saved so long as there is some love between the two of you.

The first thing to do is to identify the problem and you might have to dig deep to find it. Do not do this alone, talk about it with your partner because they are likely to have a different perspective on the problems. Do not play the blame game, none of us is perfect and the chances are that both of you share some responsibility. You both need to accept responsibility for your actions and apologize for anything that has contributed to the mess that you are in. One thing that you must not do is ignore the problems, that will only exacerbate the situation, you need to face up to your issues and deal with them together.

When you go through your issues you have to do it rationally and calmly. If you are screaming at each other, you will not achieve anything except to waste time, and can you afford to waste time? Listen to what the other says! Now I appreciate that this can be difficult as your mind is automatically working on your response, but do it anyway, it might surprise you just how much you can learn. If your partner says something that you do not quite understand then get them to clarify it, there is no shame in asking and it shows that you care. Do not fling a whole list of grievances on the table, you need to focus on and resolve one issue at a time. When you are resolving your issues, you are looking to find a compromise that you can both be happy with. This is not some silly little point scoring game that you have to beat your partner at, this is your future. You are no longer looking for the result where you win, as a couple you are looking the result where the marriage wins.

Having calmly and rationally dealt with all your issues, you now need to make sure that you never end up in this situation again! You need a plan, a joint vision for the future. I would not advise making it to complicated or detailed, life takes great pleasure in derailing plans so come up with some broad guidelines that you can both live and grow with.

How to save a troubled marriage and keep it saved begins and continues with communication. By communication I do not just mean talking about what you did that day, what I mean is that you have to share each others lives, your emotions, your hopes and dreams. You need to really get under each others skin to learn how the other ticks. If you do not, then how will you be able to support your partner and help them to grow? Now I agree that some of you could be uncomfortable talking about feelings and emotions, it makes you more vulnerable. Once you start it will get easier because what you are doing is to really reconnect with your partner, this will help strengthen your relationship over time. Do not forget to let your partner know what your wants and needs are and make sure that you know theirs, it beats dropping vague, unintelligible hints and then sulking because they are not acted upon.

You have to work at rebuilding your connection. You got married for a reason, something drew you together, rediscover that spark and fan its flames. Focus on everything that is positive about your marriage and start thinking positively about it. When you shift your focus from the negative to the positive your whole mindset changes and you start to see things in a new light. To really make that connection strong, start spending quality time with each other again. Start letting your partner know that you love them and appreciate them, do not just say it to them, put your words into actions. Learn how to smile and laugh again, you will be surprised at how powerful a thing a smile is! Go out on dates, find things that you can do together even if it is just going for a walk or curling up in front of the T.V, you will feel better for it.

So, how to save a troubled marriage? That is easy, you just work at it every day for the rest of your lives. If you are going to be together for many years to come, then relearn how to have fun and enjoy each others company and I wish you all the very best for your future.

Don't spend another day wishing your marriage was different. If you want your spouse to treat you differently, make it happen. You can have the deeply connected, fulfilling relationship you've always wanted. Experience what it feels like to have a spouse who will do anything and everything for you.

Keeping a marriage is not easy and it is normal to encounter conflicts and misunderstandings but what matters is knowing how to properly handle and solve your marital conflicts. To keep a long-lasting marriage, visit Ultimate Guide to Saving Your Marriage